Distance (Improved)
by Conan Sama
Summary: "Hey brat, go find yourself another place to live in. We don't want you here." He threw the bag at me causing me to tumble back onto my butt. "Never come back."
1. Confusion and Hurt?

As Ran and I were walking to school I noticed that she was acting weirdly suspicious. She kept checking her phones time and looking behind her. After a minute of her doing this I decide I should just brush it off as paranoia. Everybody gets that once in a while, right? Suddenly she checks her phone and starts to run off. "Sorry Conan kun. I'm gonna be skipping school today." And with that she was gone, leaving me lost in confusion.

She had been doing this a lot lately, it was very confusing. Especially since it seemed like she was getting more and more distant. Maybe she's meeting up with her mother or planning something? "Ahhh, this is messing with my brain. I should just leave it be for now." So I just keep on walking to school.

When I reach the school gate I notice that the detective boys aren't there like they usually are. Maybe I arrived too late? No no, I arrived at the time I usually do. Maybe they just got tired of waiting. "Yeah that's gotta be it." I think out loud as I bang the side of my fist into my palm. Without even realizing it I was already at my classroom door.

-0o0o0-

This day was one of the worst days I had to go through since the tropical land incident. The detective boys all avoided me and ignored me. Including Haibara, the one who is in the same situation as me. It was annoying and I felt bad, but I'll get over it. Maybe I can get Ran to try and "help" me with my homework just so I can try to spend some time with her at least.

As I was headed towards the agency it started raining real badly. "Ah shit I didn't bring an umbrella." I mutter to myself as I quicken my pace.

Finally in no time I make it to the agency. In a rush I head up the stairs, but I end up missing a step. That caused me to tumble back down the stairs hitting my head in the process. "Ow, that hurt." I mutter to myself as I try my best to stand up with my now sore, wet and very cold body.

When I walk in I notice a plate of food on the table, but I ignore it and make my way to Ran's room. I knock on the door a couple times, but there was no answer so I quietly make my way into her room. I see her on her bed. It seemed like she was deep in thought when she suddenly turned her head towards me. She looked mad. Okay maybe mad was an under statement. She looked pissed. "Get out my room, I don't want you in here!" She whisper yelled at me. She then stood up and pushed me out her room, slamming the door in my face.

I stare back at the door in shock. Wow, that actually hurt. I never realized I could be hurt by just a couple of words and actions. I then remember I'm dripping wet so I make my way to the restroom to shower. As I'm undressing I look at myself in the mirror. I had a bunch of cuts and bruises on my body, but I was also bleeding from the back of my head. I sigh and finish undressing, I turn on the water and wait. Once the water was hot I stepped into the tub and showered. The water hurt when it hit against my cuts and bruises, but this was nothing compared to when I was shot in the stomach.

When I finished showering I decided to head to sleep, but once I was in the room I noticed Kogoro ojisan with a suitcase sitting on the bed. "Hey brat, go find yourself another place to live in. We don't want you here." He threw the bag at me causing me to tumble back onto my butt. "Never come back." He said to me with a low growl of a voice.

I left without a word and headed to Shinichi's house. I started to lose myself in my thoughts again.

I see they never really cared, huh. They just want to hurt me that's all. I don't even know why I tried to get my body back to normal. It would just end in a big failure anyways. I could've just let myself get captured.

When I look up I realize I made it to the house. I take the house key out of my pocket and opened the door. The first thing I decide to do when I entered the house was find the couch and throw myself onto it. I quickly fell asleep.

When I woke up I felt like crap. I had woken up to the sound of my phone ringing. The sound made my headache worse then it was and my whole body was really sore. Deciding that it would be the best choice of action I answer my phone. Before the person on the other end of the phone could say anything I started to cough a lot. "Oi, Kudo. Are you alright?" I let out a soft whimpering noise as my answer. "Ya know what, I'm goin' to come over. Just hang on a bit longer." And with that he hung up and I fell back to sleep.

Hey it's Ness the author here. If you didn't know this is a rewritten version of an old fanfiction I made. I believe it's the first detective conan fanfiction I ever made. It's called the same thing as this one is. If you haven't read it then you could. Just go to my profile and find Distance. If you want, leave a review. I really love reading them. Good or bad it doesn't matter. I actually prefer comments over likes and follows. So if you review, like or follow I thank you.


	2. Eyes and Sharp Razors

I felt something cold touch my head. The cool feeling of whatever was touching me felt nice. I slowly moved my face towards it. Slowly I open my eyes. I see someone standing in front of me so I harshly flinch back. That was a bad idea because now I was in a lot more pain than I was before. I let out a small cry.

"Oi Kudo. Are ya alright?" My eye sight finally adjusts and I see Hattori. I felt so embarrassed. I must've looked so vulnerable. I also realized Hattori must've put his hand on my head to check my temperature. He puts his hand back on my head and gasps. "Damm Kudo you're burnin up!" I let out a soft moan of pain. "Here take this." He says as he hands me a glass of water and some pills. "Since you are so stubborn I know you're gonna wanna go to school." He hands me some folded clothing.

I slowly get changed and we leave the house. While walking towards the school I happen to turn behind me. To my shock it was Ran. Without a thought I run as fast as I can to the school afraid that she would see me. "OI KU CONAN KUN!!" I heard Hattori yell in the distance. I ignore him and don't stop running till I reach the school gate. After stopping and trying to catch my breath I could help gasping and gagging as well as coughing. I almost vomited, but I held it in. While I was still coughing I felt a hand patting my back. "What was that for? Were you trying to further hurt yourself?" I hear Hattori say. I shake my head in reply.

"I'm sorry it's just-" I couldn't finish my sentence. "Just?" Hattori questioned.

"I noticed everyone was ignoring. Then I got kicked out. I saw Ran and in a panic I ran away." I say with a soft and defeated voice.

0

Conan looks up and I noticed his eyes were drained of their usual child like nature. "Ku Conan." I sigh and pull him into a hug. "Let's get you to class."

0

I start heading to my classroom, late of course. I still feel sick, but I took the pill so it should start working in a while. As I walk into class I notice the detective boys including Haibara glaring at me. I freeze.

I suddenly feel a hand on my head, snapping me out of my thoughts. "Oh my! Conan Kun are you alright? Your head seems to be very warm. I slightly nod my head and head to my seat. As I was about to reach my seat I trip over something. "Oops my bad Edogawa kun. It was an 'accident'." I look back up at her in shock. Everyone in the classroom started laughing, I felt so embarrassed. Quickly I got up and sat in my seat. "Everyone settle down and leave Edogawa kun alone." Suddenly I started to feel very sleepy.

**I walk into a room noticeably self conscious. It was dark and eerie. Suddenly a bright light was shined on my face. I shut my eyes. When my eyes opened everybody was around me. I started gasping for air as they glared back at me.****"Stay away from us."****"Nobody wants you."****A laugh was heard and I turned behind me. I saw Hattori looking back at me with a look of pity. "Hattori please help me!" I cried. He started to talk, but it was muffled. "What?" I question. "WAKE UP!"**

My eyes shot open and I see Ms. Kobayashi staring back at me worriedly. "Conan kun are you alright? You look pale." I look around and see everyone staring at me except the detective boys. They were glaring at me. Quickly I look back down at my desk and nod.

~o0o~

The school bell for lunch rings and I make sure I'm the first out of class. Grabbing my stuff quickly and running out. I ran as fast as I could to a restroom stall and gagged till I threw up. I felt like shit.

I just wanna die.

After cleaning up I go to the sink and wash my face. My face was flushed and I was sweating. My bangs looked wet and I was super pale. Was I always like this? I brush it off and head out when an idea comes to mind.

What if I resort to cutting? Should I?

As I was walking lost in my thoughts I bump into someone. I was about to apologize when I realized it was the school nurse. "Oh my, you look terrible. Please come with me. Quietly I follow her and do as I'm told. I was too tired to say anything.

We walk into her office and I sit down on the first chair I see staring down at my small feet. She hands me a thermometer and a cup of water. I put the thermometer under my tounge and wait uncomfortably. It beeps and I hand it to get silently not looking at it. She looks at it in shock and then back at me. "Conan kun! Your fever is way too high. It's 104f. (about 40 degrees celsius) You should go home!" She exclaims. I look at her and shake my head waving my hands dismissively. Quickly I get up from my seat and walk to the door. I suddenly felt lightheaded and collapse. "CONAN KUN!!" Was the last thing I heard before completely losing consciousness.

**I walked down an unknown alley way as a short cut to the agency. A small noise alerted me and I quickly turned my head to the direction of the noise. It was Ran. I smile at her, but my smile starts to fade as I realized she didn't look happy. Suddenly she starts to walk towards me. "Why'd you lie Conan kun, why?" In a panic I turn around and see everyone I love staring back at me with the same expression. They all start chanting. "Why'd you lie to us, Shinichi? You should leave. Away from us." Suddenly I feel a sharp pain on my cheek. Ran had slapped me. Suddenly everything around me starts to fade away. I'm now in a dark room. I stand still in shock as a deep creepy voice starts to speak. "We all know nobody cares. Why do you bother living?" I shake my head. "No, not true." I yelled. "Are you sure? Why do they look at you like you're the scrum of the earth? Why did they kick you out? Why do they hate you?" I shake my head violently. "NOT TRUE STOP!!"**

I bolt up into a sitting position. "NOT TRUE!" I yelled. In a panic I look around only to see Hattori and the nurse looking back at me worriedly. Awkwardly, not knowing what to do I stare back. I then notice something warm falling down my cheek. I touch it. They were tears. No wonder they were shocked. I start wiping my tears quickly. I was embarrassed. It was too late though. They already saw. I notice Hattori whisper something to the nurse and then walks over to me. He picks me up bridal style and walks out.

In shock I start hitting him, not knowing what else to do. "Let me go." I whisper quietly, enough for him to hear me. Once we're outside he sets me down and hugs me. I start to sob into his chest. I couldn't keep it from coming. I gasped and cried as he rubbed my back silently. Not saying anything. When I stop crying I just start to hiccup.

Hattori pulled away from their hug and looked me in the eye. "You're not fine."

The walk was silent as we walked to 'the Kudo house'. We get in the house and he forces me to sleep. He hands me a cup of water and a pill. I take it and lay down. I wait for Hattori to fall asleep before I walk to the restroom. I lock the door and grab the razor out of drawer. I stare at it for a while then start to slice through the skin Of my arms and legs. I flinched in pain each time I cut. Blood was dripping everywhere. "One more time." I whisper to myself. Before I could do any more damage to my skin Hattori bursts in.

"Kudo, what the hell?" He said as his eyes started to water. He hugs me and starts to cry. "Don't do that again, you aho." He then licks the door and turns the shower on. Touching the water every few seconds till he was satisfied with the temperature. He makes me take off my clothes and I get in. I flinched as it burned.

Once we get out we head to sleep. Hattori hugging me protectivlyas we slept.

I shake Hattori awake. "Hey wake up." He opens his eyes and stares at me. "Let's go eat I'm hungry." He puts his hand on my head and nods. "Sure, your fever has gone down too."

I get dressed in my usual clothing. Forgetting about my cuts. "Let's go to Danny's." I say. He smiles and nods. We head out.


	3. Surprise and scars

As we were eating we didn't really talk much. Maybe a little small talk here and there.

"Happy birthday!" I look up from my cup of Orange juice looking at Hattori in shock. "Thanks." I smile slightly as I go back to staring at my juice. Hattori seems to notice and ruffles my hair leaving it a bit messy. I laugh.

The waiter comes and hands Hattori the check and he pays.

We leave and head back to the house. As we approached the house we noticed the yard looked a bit messy. We shrug it off as the wind as the wind started to pick up more and more.

Once we were inside Hattori turned the lights on for me since I was unable to reach the switch. "Happy birthday Conan Kun!!!" I was frozen in shock. I didn't know what to do. I just stood there. "Conan kun, we pretended like we didn't like you because we knew that you'd deduce that we were actually faking." Ayumi said cheerfully. Mitsuhiko interrupted her. "Yeah, we hated that we were being mean to you but we knew you'd deduce that we were faking." He said with a slight annoyance towards Ayumi.

I started to feel tears forming in my eyes. I couldn't believe everything was staged. Was Hattori in on this too? Are my feelings just a joke? I watch them as their eyes scan my body. Staring at the scars I had forgotten to cover. Tears are now streaming down my face as everyone stares in at me in shock. I turn to Hattori for a second and he looked pissed.

"WELL YOU WERE WRONG. I DIDN'T FUCKING KNOW ABOUT ANYTHING!!" I ran out the door that hadn't been closed yet. I found myself running aimlessly, starting to feel sick again. I felt betrayed.

I then begin to realize that it was raining. I start sobbing even more causing me to gasp for air.

Hattori's P.O.V

"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT? DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH HE WAS SUFFERING!??" They all shook their heads. "Y'all know he was cutting himself, he was was sick and to top it all off he was left with feeling unloved." They all looked shocked, the younger ones crying. Except the red haired girl, she looked on with a pained expression. "Dammit, y'all really are heartless." I stormed out the house searching for Conan. I looked everywhere I could think of not caring about the fact I was getting wet. I suddenly found myself at the park staring at a figure squatting down hugging their knees by a light post. "Conan." I whispered lightly.

CONAN'S P.O.V

I couldn't stop crying, my heart was aching, everything was hurting. I felt sick to my stomach, my head was pounding. "Help." I whimpered. Suddenly I felt arms wrapping around me in an embrace. I look back to see Hattori starting at me with concern. I smiled at him a bit knowing he still cared for me.

I turn around and hug him tightly. I didn't want him to leave me. I was shivering child and hurting. Suddenly I felt something cover me. It was Hattori's jacket. I stare back at him and smile slightly. I look over his shoulder to see everybody that was back at the house running towards me. I throw myself back in a panic trying to get away but due to my panic my hand slips from underneath me scratching my palm and causing me to hit my head on the cement.

I was feeling dizzy and lightheaded.

While still on the ground I close my eyes trying to recollect my thoughts. When I open my eyes everyone was suddenly around me. My eyes instinctively landed on Ran. She looked nervous and guilty. I tried to speak up, but it came out as a whimper. Everybody seemed shocked at the noise.

Suddenly Ran spoke up. "Conan kun we're so very sorry. We really did think you were smart enough to figure out the act." My heart broke a little when her voice cracked. Suddenly as if they had practiced it a million times the detective boys spoke up in unison. "Conan Kun we are truly sorry, we didn't mean any of it."

I couldn't help the small smile that formed on my lips. Although Hattori was the only one who seemed to notice.

I tried to stand up to say something, but everything starred spinning one again. With all the energy I had left I managed to say "I forgive yo-". And I blacked out.

I awoke to the sound of beeping noises and an uncomfortable feeling in my throat. I try to reach for it but a hand stopped me. I open my eyes and face the source. It was Ran. I managed a small smile which seemed to have made her happy because her face lit up with joy.

"Conan Kun you're in a hospital. You have the flu and a mild concussion." Her eyes seemed to tear up as she continued. "Your scars will never go away, I'm so sorry Conan kun." She bursted into tears. I grab her hand smile and nod trying to reassure her everything was fine. She smiled back.and my eyes started to feel a little heavy. I fell asleep.

Hey guys it's the author here. I'm sorry it took so long and it seemed rushed. I wrote this in a couple hourss. I had a massive writers block because of my loss of motivation and bad thoughts. These thoughts kept me from writing. I really need to get my mental health checked, but I'm too scared to talk to my mom about it.

Y'all probably didn't realize I was gone because my story isn't all that great.

I apologize for any inconvenience.


	4. Spring Day's Goodbye

I wake myself up by coughing. I felt a hand on my back patting it. I look up and notice Ran at the end of the bed sleeping. I turn around to see who was patting my back. It was Hattori. I smile a bit at him. The thought of someone caring for me made me happy. I then notice Hattori was humming a song. It was a korean song that went by the name Spring day.

I remember one day Hattori and I were hanging out listening to some popular music playlist. The playlist consisted of songs from many languages. It was our favourite song from the list.

Our attention was switched to Ran. She must've woken up from Hattori's humming. She seemed confused for a bit, but smiled as soon as she noticed I was awake. I smile back at her slightly. I immediately regretted it because what followed was a wave of nausea. Hattori and Ran seemed to notice something was wrong so they ran off to get help. I couldn't stop coughing till I gagged.

When they finally came back I had curled into myself like a ball. I didn't care what they thought. I just wanted to get better. The nurse came in handed me a bucket and started patting my back softly. Without hesitation I started to vomit.

Once I finished tears were rolling down my cheeks and I felt gross. A nasty taste lingered in my mouth as well.

The nurse cleaned around my mouth with a small towel and went off to go clean up the bucket. When the nurse came back she had me take some medicine for nausea and lay down.

When the nurse left Hattori went to get some drinks for Ran and himself because they felt a little thirsty.

Ran stared at me for a bit and I stared back. Suddenly she stood up and hugged me. As she backed out of the hug she kissed me on the forehead. That small kind kiss was enough to make my whole face turn red. Just then Hattori came in. He knew. I just stared at my lap waiting for the blush to calm down.

Hattori handed Ran the drink she requested and they started to talk a bit. I just look around bored out of my mind.

I must've fallen asleep and had a nightmare because the next the I knew I was screaming and yelling. I couldn't stop, I was scared. Scared that everybody was gone again.

I realized that no one was in the room and started panicking. I was screaming and crying, gasping for air. The nurses tried to calm me down, but I just couldn't. The tears just streamed down my face as I cried and gasped for air.

My attention was turned to where all the nurses looked suddenly. It was Ran. I started to cry even more.

No it's not really her it's just a fake. I repeated in my head. Suddenly a warm embrace covered me like a blanket. I started to calm down a bit but I still cried. I looked up and saw Ran trying her best to calm me.

After about ten minutes of Ran trying to comfort me I was able to stop crying. The nurse started talking. "I believe that the poor boy might have seperation anxiety. Other than the panicked outburst he just had I believe he's fine and is able to go home. Just don't leave him alone until you know he's able to handle it." Ran nods and smiles. "Of course, I wouldn't be able to leave him on his own."

A couple hours later I was discharged. During the next few days Ran made sure everything was okay and tried not to leave me on my own. Hattori sometimes came to help, embarrassingly enough he was a comforting presence.

I was able to get my original body back and I told Ran everything. I was super embarrassed about the whole seperation anxiety panic attack thing but she understood.

She still treats me like a baby sometimes because I have small anxiety attacks when away from people for a while. It's gotten better though.

The only downside is the scars that are left as a reminder of how weak I was.


End file.
